Monday, 27 April 2015

You would never guess it but...

I have a high needs toddler. Everyone who meets Indy comments on how happy, chatty, and smiley he is. When Indy is around other people he is happy to wander around, talk to people, play by himself, you name it. However, you be a fly on the wall when it's just me and the boy, and it's a completely different story.

Indy is my shadow. Indy clings onto me, onto my leg, onto my chest, onto my head. "Mama, mama, mama, please, mama, mama" is repeated, constantly. He still breastfeeds like a newborn, asking every  half hour, pulling on my top and smacking on my chest. I've started saying no, and we successfully night-weaned him using the Dr Jay Gordon method. I play with him, I reassure him, he gets lots of cuddles and kisses and 'I love yous' and is a very content little boy, he just seems to turn into a completely different child when it's just him and myself.

This is partly the reason why I started this blog. I wanted to show myself and others that I was interacting with him lots, and that we were playing together and his needs were being filled. In a way I feel guilty that he acts like this, Daddy has walked downstairs from work and seen how different Indy acts towards me and he has been shocked. I suffer from anxiety that leaves me fairly housebound, so going to baby and toddler groups has been difficult. I'm persuading myself to try a couple in the next few weeks, to partly relieve some of the pressure off me, and to let Indy be around other people. I know nobody there will believe me when I say I have a high needs toddler, watching my confident little boy strut around independently, making friends and playing, but I'm sure someone else there will know exactly what it's like.